WORRIED ABOUT THE IMPENDING GLOBAL COLLAPSE?

Are you troubled by the impending global financial collapse caused by Trumponomics? Why not distract yourself with a good book? Or even one of mine?

Because, for seven days only, BOTH of my novels are on sale for the shocking low price of ONLY ONE DOLLAR!!*

*This isn’t, strictly speaking, true. That is to say, some restrictions apply. Actually, several, and these restrictions are, well, strict. Take as an example the one dollar price. It only applies to smart readers living in the United States (even I can’t avail myself to it) and it’s actually 99 cents, not one dollar (although taxes might–or might not–make it somewhat MORE than one dollar). Also, truth be told, this America-only 99 cent price applies only to my mystery-suspense novel, The Rabbit Skinners, not to my bizarre fantasy novel, The Language of Bears, although you, as Americans (or at least as persons living, legally or illegally, within the geographical borders of America) can still purchase LOB for the breathtaking, criminally low price of $2.99, BUT only if it’s the Kindle version. The paperback version is substantially more expensive, so expensive that I don’t recall the price; indeed, I’ve worked assiduously for more than a year, weeping like a child and yanking out fistfuls of what is left of my hair, with a psychotherapist to put that high number out of my mind, partly because of the intense guilt I feel, which has caused my teeth to fall out from nervous grinding and turned my skin grey and scrofulous and paved it with oozing pustules and buboes that cause people to edge away from me nervously in the train queues, and partly because Amazon gets almost every f&%king cent of it). You CAN get Language of Bears (which some have deemed, or might have deemed, or plausibly could have deemed, the most explosive book about New England Puritans and talking animals ever written) at a comparably gobsmacking low price as the 99cent one now (and for the next seven days) applied to The Rabbit Skinners (Kindle copy only, sorry), but ONLY IF YOU LIVE in the UNITED KINGDOM. In which case, the price is not 99cents, but “99p,” which stands for “99 pence” or .99GBP (British Pound Sterling), which equals, at least at this evening’s exchange rate, about $1.31 in U.S. dollars. So if you’re not British and still keen on purchasing a cheap-ass e-copy of Language of Bears, it doesn’t make economic sense to relocate to the U.K., because, not even counting the moving costs, the book is still more expensive there and, frankly, if you’re that interested, just message me and I’ll send you a copy for free.

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